Where do I even begin? It's been a month and SO much has happened - between a 2 week spring break, a weekend in Barcelona and my 1st real weekend back in Madrid, there is obviously too much to type. So! What I really want to share most with all of you is my trip to Morocco!
It was truly amazing and I am beyond happy that I made the decision to go. For a brief background: I went to Morocco for 4 days and 3 nights through a program called "Morocco Exchange" in which they focus on giving each of us a cross-cultural experience. This aspect of the program was amazing because we weren't treated like tourists, but rather students (there was 16 of us) traveling the world to explore and educate ourselves. I spent 2 nights sleeping in a Moroccan home with a host family, and the last night in a hostal. The program showed us city life in the capital, Rabat, and also rural life in a small village 3 hours inland. I can't describe enough how amazing it was to be with this program just in terms of how it was set up; traveling by car gave us an opportunity to really see some of the land and watch it change drastically.
Pictures: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2020098&id=1042110068&l=3c65134221
As most of you know I basically always have a journal with me and I think the best way to convey my thoughts about the trip is to just copy straight from my journal. This is rare, to open these pages publicly, but I do think it's the best and most raw way of sharing this experience with you. It is very long and personal, so please have patience and leave judgement at the door. Enjoy.
"The connection between the 16 of us truly amazed me; there was not one person I could not have sat and talked with for hours. 3 days we shared life, minute by minute, experience by experience - that little bus became our home as its wheels changed our lives right beneath us. I felt comfortable with them. I laughed and danced and sang and talked in my crazy voices, there was something they let me become, or remember. It felt so good to be surrounded by the feeling of comfortableness. to just, do, me.
The trip went so fast. I am sitting here not yet realizing I am back on Spanish ground and without them. I repeat, I am shocked it was simply 3 nights of their presences to this strongly feel their absence. There is something about being surrounded by those kinds of people, I see it in my head as a visual picture of slowly and slowly narrowing it down: you attend a university of 16,000 undergrads and as different as you all are, there is at least one thing inside us that said, "BU". Then you choose to study abroad, in which again you share a common ground in taking the stand to this opportunity - mentally, emotionally, physically, even if you weren't completely ready for it... And then now, from 16,000 to 83 to 16, 16 individuals find themselves sitting together in an African village, on a mountain top that we will probably never touch again, and there is something strong within each of us that we share.
The intellectual energy, drive and conversation that filled these last 3 days is overwhelming in the nice and refreshing way. Not a dull moment or stupid conversation - religion, the future, the world, gender equality, politics, values, purpose, materialism, opportunity, fortune, our pasts. We are so thirsty and exploding with questions, as someone once said to me when finding out I was studying abroad - "Grabbing life by it's horns." There was not one person in that group who had not thought of working in Peace Corp or something like it - we will all serve internationally to better this world, this I am sure of. As inspiring and wonderful it is to be surrounded by such intellectual and passionate light, it is a very bold and clear message sent to myself through the mirror - keep moving.
I have, over these past few years, become progressively immobile to the call for help, the call to educate, the call to act. There is so much information, so much to learn and do and I find myself utterly lost at how to prioritize in importance or even simply just start. Although I may not be running right now, being in this group and not shying away in fear and in pain to the overwhelming demand to move, is a step & I am beyond humbly and subtly content with this simple baby step. You have to learn to stand before you can walk and I am slowly strengthening my legs. And it won't be tomorrow or the next day where I will feel ready to jump into the abyss of chaotic construction, but knowing that I can hear it, see it, just look at it, is good enough for me, for now.
Allen (my tour guide) was so open, he shared so much with us. He truly impacted this trip in a way no other guide would have without his insight and history. I am quietly ashamed I did not know what Mali was before this trip, just another smack in the face that there is an endless amount of educating that needs to be done; He was a Peace Corp volunteer there when he was 17. The idea that a human mind had been trained so differently to not understand the concept of an airplane is ineffable. To have someone genuinely ask, "How do humans, so big, get into such small planes? Do they shrink?" To have never seen a landed plane - in any form, picture, media, papers, life - to physically not have the capactiy to understand a concept we as American Citizens would never in our lives contemplate is just unbelievable to me. And it is not because this man was stupid, he was simply never given the chance to learn otherwise. And we take education, even the most simple form, for granted.
Along with Allen's shared experiences and thoughts, the program in itself was unbelievable. Providing us was snacks and delicious meals, cultural Moroccan homes to sleep in, many educated and eager Moroccans to exchange questions and thoughts with. From the busy, urban, capital city life to the rural villages tucked into those crevices of the earth we'll never see, simply driving cross country and physically watching the conditions change. Taking us to the coast, inland, inside homes, hotels, tourist spots, markets, cafes, wilderness. Even just crossing the Moroccan border on foot was an experience in itself. I think that's what I loved most about this trip - it was real. No bullshit. As real as any foreigner can experience Moroccan life in 3 days, we dit it. They didn't baby us or cover our eyes, no sugar coating or regulations, we were there to learn, discover, expand, and this is what they provided. There was not 1 thing in the entire trip we could have done had we gone without this program and just as tourists.
When talking with Allen and the Moroccan Peace Corp and Fulbright volunteers, they made a comment that kind of just sunk in - the idea, and really the fact, that results aren't instantaneous. It takes years, and in Allen's case sometimes even 40, to see a positive result, a positive impact you've made. I have always known this to be true in some sense or another, but it really just reminded me to be patient. To realize I won't save the world - not alone nor in a small period of time. Salvation is progressive.
The friendliness in Morocco, openness and smiles surprised me. Although I suppose it shouldn't, because the more I travel the more I discover this about all places. But here specifically there was a connection between the women, a support system. I am all sorts of mixed feelings on their treatment and even more, their reaction to their treatment. I automatically look at the hijab as a symbol of religion, but equally so as a form of repression. Which, I know, is not fully correct especially because one of my best friends at BU wears one, I think, on my part, it's really just a lack of understanding in something I don't know if I ever will fully understand. What I think I am most torn about is if they have the freedom to not wear it, why do they continue? Better worded, I suppose I am wondering if this action is simply enabling the gender equality gap. I am very unsure on how to feel about this and know I am beyond uneducated enough to have any real opinion or stand point on it so if this has offended anyone, please forgive me, I am just sharing with you raw thoughts.
As the group all shared and said in our candle light reflection on our last night there, Morocco is one of the most modern and progressive African countries. I think part of me demands more. Faster, now. But touching back to patience, I think I need to realize that nothing as huge and heavy as transforming an entire country, continent, world, can happen over night. I need to look at our country's own history and remind myself it all takes time. Instead of asking for more, I should support their progression and look positively at their bright future.
Another striking characteristic of Morocco was their skill in language. Almost every single Moroccan we spoke with had never left the country and yet their english was amazing, accent and all. Allen did make the point that a lot of this can be due to the American television that is not dubbed over with a different language but rather is conveyed though subtitles, thus giving them the ear for English. But even more than English, they spoke Spanish, French, Classical Arabic. It all varied on strength, but coming from a country where saying the majority of our citizens are bilangual is pushing it, it was a big eye opener. There was an 11 year old boy who climbed up the mountain with us and talked to one of the guys in the group in a mix of French and Spanish and his ability to communicate with us was just incredible.
To reflect once more on the women and their network: the hamam (the turkish public bath) was truly an experience. It was just such an intense contrast to see these women on the streets, covered head to tow with clothing, talking with limitation, and then to see these same woman, completely naked and 100% comfortable, a time of freedom, escape. The adorable Morocaan woman who took us just smiled and waited outside and when I asked her how often she came she spoke of it with a smile that said relief ; her friends and her all have a time and place to meet up and go together once a week. Here, she said, is when they all get to talk, just let it out, talk about life, love, husbands, children, everything. It's their moment of uncensored expression, simply being a woman and excersicing this through unification and strength in numbers. I think of how often I need to just vent, let it out, and can not imagine a life of limitation to my voice. I am blessed with numerous shoulders to rest of, ears to listen, and use this circle to spread out my shared thoughts. To think of being given an alotted slot of time to let the mind and voice run free is frustrating. I think I need to work on this though because I suppose in general that is how life just is sometimes. Because although we are surrounded by others and we all have our reliable circle of friends and family, at the end of the day we are all alone in some sense or another.
A very prominent moment I had on this trip was while I was walking in a small African village to a home we were being welcomed into for lunch, tea and coversation. As we walked there, there were 2 women sitting on a step in front of the house making bread. They were dressed so simply, and you knew they had very few articles of clothing. As they quickly and genuienly offered us bread, which only God knows how much of a sacrifice that must have been, 2 younger women came hustling out into the doorway. They too were dressed simply, so bare and yet beautiful. I just stared at one of them for a moment, thinking of her beauty, her simple innocent smile that has seen more than we will ever be able to comprehend and yet was still filled with such warmth we rarely pass along, and thought to myself, "the world will never see this beauty. You will never see the world." I walked away choked up, with my Lucky Jeans and Aasics on. I was shamefully disgusted with our cultures intense and unnecessary consumption and materialism, which by no means am I saying that I myself do not partake in, I am aware I am part of this epidemic. That war in itself is a battle I have even within the States - feeling, looking, dressing, being sexy. The money that is tied to that facade along with the mentality of unnecessary need. I am always beyond humbled and ashamed in places like these, between Mexico and the Dominican Republic I have seen a small handful of similar lifestyles and the contrast is just so extreme.
To wrap it all up, along with this there was another thing that really hit home - the anxious, excited faces and hands as the children we passed waved. In all of our daily lives, no matter where we are, we pass hundreds and hundreds of individual, important and unique lives. Simply the cars sitting on the freeway together, the buildings we speed by, and we continue so swiftly but they remain still. As our American filled van curved along the mountain top, through fields of knee high crops, through markets and streets bustling with life, and we see faces, for literally a fraction of a second, faces we will never see again, a face that holds a story to each his own. What struck me most about this were the children's waving arms and peoples open smile. I never in my life have ran out of my house, up to the window, out of the store, to look upon passing visitors of my country. The fact they wave, as if we are celebrities, makes me wish I could somehow travel in a way I could not be seen, invisible. Although the root of all my travels is based in a desire to expand my knowledge and insight so in the future I am able to "pay it forward", I dislike the attention this form of education brings. I am not special because I am American, because I ride around in this out of place looking van, because I have shoes on my feet. And as I wave back, wide faced grin of appreciation for their unrelenting support, I plead to them with my eyes, asking them to see that there is equality amongst all humanity, a common ground. Like Allen said in the immigration line to restless citizens trying to cut first in line, like the hundreds of thousands have said in the past and will repeat and ring out long into the future -
"Somos equales."
We are all the same.
We are all equal.
xo,
apb
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
In-N-Out
Hello My Loves!
So, it has, once again, been too long. I started writing about 2 weeks ago and never got to finish it/didn't like it. I'm too picky lol
Cadiz and Ireland were both AMAZING - in very different ways.
Before I reflect a little on both, here are the links to some photo alumbs of each trip for those of you who don't have facebook:
Cadiz: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2016684&id=1042110068&l=d55c8b00f5
Ireland: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2017614&id=1042110068&l=fc2829d758
So Cadiz was just simply a little bit too nuts hahah I have never seen so many chicken costumes in my life! hahah It was a lot of fun to have a weekend get-a-way like that with friends. The hotel we stayed in was apartment style so we had a kitchen and everything - very cool. The hotel was about 20 minutes outside of Cadiz so the first night we stayed in our area and went out around there. The 2nd night was the reeeal Cadiz night and we lived it up :) I got a little too sick the first night...coughcough...so the 2nd night I took it easy hahah but it was still great and I'm glad I went :) Minus the 8 hour bus ride that was on the most uncomfortable bus of my life lol I also loved being able to dip my toes into the ocean from the other side of the Atlantic.
Ireland was simply incredible, and I truly think a lot of that is due to the opportunity to travel alone. I can seriously be such a loner - some of my happiest moments can be times where I am completely alone and free to do anything I want. It was great to be able to stay with some Irish family (half Irish holla!) and connect to that part of my roots along with having the balance to really explore and do my own thing. I met so many random people who quickly become friends and 1 of them I think I am actually going to stay with while in Portugal in April :) The connections you can make in literally seconds are amazing and exciting to me - this person in Lisbon I spent only 1 hour of 1 night with, and I am now probably using their couch as my bed for 4 nights in April haha! Don't worry though, I know you are all probably a little apprehensive to this, but trust me when I say if I felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable, I would never take the situation on. It is great to know I am strong and can handle my own, as my Irish cousin also commented on at the end of my trip after realizing he really didn't need to do much to make sure I was okay. And also if it's any comfort, I obviously know that just because I am comfortable and feel strong in intuition, judgement and independence, that doesn't necessarily mean I won't get into a bad situation, but I am also confident the outs are just as accessible as the ins :)
While there I traveled around mostly the heart of Dublin - seeing Trinity College, St. Stephen's Green, shopping and walking around Grafton, Henry, & Nasseu St, along with the Temple Bar area and getting a tour of Kalmainham Gaol. I was lucky to have no rain! It was mostly cloudy, windy and cold but I was simply happy to stay dry :)
Commenting back on connecting more with my Irish roots - it was just nice to be reminded I am just as Irish as I am Mexican. Being Mexican-American has been pretty dominant through out my whole life, as I have progressivley become more proud of my Latina roots. I feel for many reasons my mexican heritage has been predominant because of how large and connected my father is with his family. Although I am in touch with relatives from my mother's side, it is not as strong or common to see and talk with them. Also, not only physically resembling my Mexican heritage, the issue of stereotypying, generalizing and discrimination is much more prominent than that of Irish natives. For this I think my sisters and I have also been more defensive and prideful on defending and exploring these roots. So all in all, it was great to visit the land that makes up my other half :) I found out too late in the trip I had more family up north and all over Ireland, but with little time left I did not get the chance to see them nor the Irish country side that I hope to see one day :)
Today is officialllllly my first day of Spring Break! I am so excited. I just can't believe once I get back I have a month left and then it's done. I have such mixed feelings on this, as I do with basically all changes in my life haha (I need to work on this. lol) To be honest though I think I have come a long way in dealing with change. It has been great and hard and everything in between, and I will be so happy to go back to the states but also have a hard time closing this chapter in my life - even if it wasnt the easiest one. But before I get myself down talking about that, let's talk about my spring break instead! hahah :) (Another thing I'm trying very hard to do - just be present). Tomorrow Tisean comes until Wednesday, April 1st. On the 3rd I'm off to MOROCCO!!! For all of you who know me well, I have had my heart set on Africa since I could probably talk haha (okay not thaaaat long but you know what I mean). I know that this is just the start to my future connection and immersion within this country :) On the 7th I am headed to Alicante, Spain to soak up some sun on the Meditterranean beach with two of my girlfriends from the program here in Madrid. :)
For the last 2/3 weeks now my Senora's mother has been staying with us - and what an experience this has been. Not only am I already not use to be the "oldest sibling" or having any "brothers", I've also never lived with a grandma, or any grandparent for that matter. This woman laughs at me proooobably 95% of the time I'm with her - she thinks it's absolutely hilarious I don't know what she's saying. hahah and sometimes I laugh with her but sometimes I'm like, "Really! It doesnt help when I'm already frustrated for not knowing what you're saying and then you laugh in my face and with others about it!" lol For the most part though, I've learned to love her and her giggling, wrinkled face lol She'll be gone when I get back from my Spring Break adventures and I think the house will be much more quiet without her. Other than her laughing at me, she's pretty hilarious. I was headed out one night and it was cold out, my coat was upstairs and I was gonna grab it after dinner, planning to just eat dinner with the family in my t-shirt. She's like, "Oh it's so cold go get your coat!" - "Oh, I'm fine for now, I'll get it when I go out." - "Noo, it's cold go get it." - "No really, I'm okay".... 20 minutes into dinner I am rubbing and cracking my back because it was kind of hurting, she asks what I'm doing - "Oh my bad hurts a little" - "It's because your cold." hahah
Really?! hahah This is only one of many examples, like how she told me I should have met Barack Obama before Michelle did.... Grandma I'm pretty sure I was still in the womb when he was in his prime 20's lol She's quite interested in my love life as well and has made many comments on how its okay to have numerous boyfriends... she will see pictures of my friends and be like "oh he looks strooong" LOL you're like 70 years old!!! Gotta love it.
I will hopefully be quicker next time to post about my adventures here in Europe :) I love and miss you all and would still love to know how you're all doing, I can't believe it's almost April! I will get to see all your pretty faces before we even know it :)
All my love and more,
apb
So, it has, once again, been too long. I started writing about 2 weeks ago and never got to finish it/didn't like it. I'm too picky lol
Cadiz and Ireland were both AMAZING - in very different ways.
Before I reflect a little on both, here are the links to some photo alumbs of each trip for those of you who don't have facebook:
Cadiz: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2016684&id=1042110068&l=d55c8b00f5
Ireland: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2017614&id=1042110068&l=fc2829d758
So Cadiz was just simply a little bit too nuts hahah I have never seen so many chicken costumes in my life! hahah It was a lot of fun to have a weekend get-a-way like that with friends. The hotel we stayed in was apartment style so we had a kitchen and everything - very cool. The hotel was about 20 minutes outside of Cadiz so the first night we stayed in our area and went out around there. The 2nd night was the reeeal Cadiz night and we lived it up :) I got a little too sick the first night...coughcough...so the 2nd night I took it easy hahah but it was still great and I'm glad I went :) Minus the 8 hour bus ride that was on the most uncomfortable bus of my life lol I also loved being able to dip my toes into the ocean from the other side of the Atlantic.
Ireland was simply incredible, and I truly think a lot of that is due to the opportunity to travel alone. I can seriously be such a loner - some of my happiest moments can be times where I am completely alone and free to do anything I want. It was great to be able to stay with some Irish family (half Irish holla!) and connect to that part of my roots along with having the balance to really explore and do my own thing. I met so many random people who quickly become friends and 1 of them I think I am actually going to stay with while in Portugal in April :) The connections you can make in literally seconds are amazing and exciting to me - this person in Lisbon I spent only 1 hour of 1 night with, and I am now probably using their couch as my bed for 4 nights in April haha! Don't worry though, I know you are all probably a little apprehensive to this, but trust me when I say if I felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable, I would never take the situation on. It is great to know I am strong and can handle my own, as my Irish cousin also commented on at the end of my trip after realizing he really didn't need to do much to make sure I was okay. And also if it's any comfort, I obviously know that just because I am comfortable and feel strong in intuition, judgement and independence, that doesn't necessarily mean I won't get into a bad situation, but I am also confident the outs are just as accessible as the ins :)
While there I traveled around mostly the heart of Dublin - seeing Trinity College, St. Stephen's Green, shopping and walking around Grafton, Henry, & Nasseu St, along with the Temple Bar area and getting a tour of Kalmainham Gaol. I was lucky to have no rain! It was mostly cloudy, windy and cold but I was simply happy to stay dry :)
Commenting back on connecting more with my Irish roots - it was just nice to be reminded I am just as Irish as I am Mexican. Being Mexican-American has been pretty dominant through out my whole life, as I have progressivley become more proud of my Latina roots. I feel for many reasons my mexican heritage has been predominant because of how large and connected my father is with his family. Although I am in touch with relatives from my mother's side, it is not as strong or common to see and talk with them. Also, not only physically resembling my Mexican heritage, the issue of stereotypying, generalizing and discrimination is much more prominent than that of Irish natives. For this I think my sisters and I have also been more defensive and prideful on defending and exploring these roots. So all in all, it was great to visit the land that makes up my other half :) I found out too late in the trip I had more family up north and all over Ireland, but with little time left I did not get the chance to see them nor the Irish country side that I hope to see one day :)
Today is officialllllly my first day of Spring Break! I am so excited. I just can't believe once I get back I have a month left and then it's done. I have such mixed feelings on this, as I do with basically all changes in my life haha (I need to work on this. lol) To be honest though I think I have come a long way in dealing with change. It has been great and hard and everything in between, and I will be so happy to go back to the states but also have a hard time closing this chapter in my life - even if it wasnt the easiest one. But before I get myself down talking about that, let's talk about my spring break instead! hahah :) (Another thing I'm trying very hard to do - just be present). Tomorrow Tisean comes until Wednesday, April 1st. On the 3rd I'm off to MOROCCO!!! For all of you who know me well, I have had my heart set on Africa since I could probably talk haha (okay not thaaaat long but you know what I mean). I know that this is just the start to my future connection and immersion within this country :) On the 7th I am headed to Alicante, Spain to soak up some sun on the Meditterranean beach with two of my girlfriends from the program here in Madrid. :)
For the last 2/3 weeks now my Senora's mother has been staying with us - and what an experience this has been. Not only am I already not use to be the "oldest sibling" or having any "brothers", I've also never lived with a grandma, or any grandparent for that matter. This woman laughs at me proooobably 95% of the time I'm with her - she thinks it's absolutely hilarious I don't know what she's saying. hahah and sometimes I laugh with her but sometimes I'm like, "Really! It doesnt help when I'm already frustrated for not knowing what you're saying and then you laugh in my face and with others about it!" lol For the most part though, I've learned to love her and her giggling, wrinkled face lol She'll be gone when I get back from my Spring Break adventures and I think the house will be much more quiet without her. Other than her laughing at me, she's pretty hilarious. I was headed out one night and it was cold out, my coat was upstairs and I was gonna grab it after dinner, planning to just eat dinner with the family in my t-shirt. She's like, "Oh it's so cold go get your coat!" - "Oh, I'm fine for now, I'll get it when I go out." - "Noo, it's cold go get it." - "No really, I'm okay".... 20 minutes into dinner I am rubbing and cracking my back because it was kind of hurting, she asks what I'm doing - "Oh my bad hurts a little" - "It's because your cold." hahah
Really?! hahah This is only one of many examples, like how she told me I should have met Barack Obama before Michelle did.... Grandma I'm pretty sure I was still in the womb when he was in his prime 20's lol She's quite interested in my love life as well and has made many comments on how its okay to have numerous boyfriends... she will see pictures of my friends and be like "oh he looks strooong" LOL you're like 70 years old!!! Gotta love it.
I will hopefully be quicker next time to post about my adventures here in Europe :) I love and miss you all and would still love to know how you're all doing, I can't believe it's almost April! I will get to see all your pretty faces before we even know it :)
All my love and more,
apb
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My Momma's Tostadas
Ahhh! It's been awhile now friends, which is whyyy this is going to be ridiculously long.
If you couldn't tell from my month long gap between blogs, I am tired of the internet. It's been hard to rely on the internet as my only way of communication. I do get random phone calls every once in awhile but it's just the concept of not being able to pick up a phone and call anyone I want, even just to say hi. I really shouldn't be complaining though because had this been 100 years ago we would have nothing haha.
Since I've last posted, I've gone on 2 trips to other cities in Spain - Toledo & Sevilla. Both have been through the school and both have been a lot of fun. Toledo was just a day trip but Sevilla was 2 days, so we got to stay in a hotel one night, woo wooo. I have one new picture album up of Sevilla ( http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2015753&id=1042110068&l=1891e) but have so many more pictures that I need to still put up, hopefully soon. I am learning pretty quick with these trips to museums and cathedrals that my love for art is much more modern than I realized haha I'm still trying to appreciate the beauty in it though and take it for what it is. I have enjoyed the architecture in the Cathedrals a lot but to be honest sometimes I think it's just too much haha there is such intense detail into every little thing it's hard to grasp the amount of time people actually put into it. I've been doing some sight seeing in Madrid too and one of my favorites so far has been the Palace. It's craaazy to me how people actually lived in that place at one point in time and went about life like it was normal hahah, both my friends and I were really just amazed with it. I have a lot more trips coming up too! I'm headed to Cadiz this next weekend for Carnaval. It's celebrated all over Spain but Cadiz is said to be the heart of it so I've booked a hotel for 2 nights and a round trip bus with about 20 other people to get a first hand experience of this madness haha. From what I've picked up it's basically the same thing more or less as Mardi Gras but bigger? Either way, the pictures I've seen look out of control and the costumes we've all bought are even more ridiculous, so it's bound to be a crazy/amazing/sunday-will-be-the-death-of-me weekend haha. After that I'm in Madrid for the weekend but then go out to Ireland for 4 days, accidentally the weekend before St. Patricks Day! I'm going alone and staying with a relative (irish blooood holla!) and then hopefully meeting up with friends of friends at night. Either way, I'm not worried, they speak english there so I can get around just find with new friends I'll make. After Ireland I'm back in Madrid for one more weekend and then it's Spring Break!!! Tisean is coming out to visit for the first 5 days of it and then the rest of it is still kind of up in the air (I get 2 weeks!). I'm looking at hopefully Morocco & Portugal. If not Portugal, Barcelona or somewhere else in Spain. After break I get back and only have a month left!!! Can't even believe it. Within the last month I'm going to Segovia & Salamanca. Once the semester's done, the day after my last final I'm meeting Henry (and maybe Poppems!) in Paris! Where we will live the life of french people for 5 days :) haha thennnn I'm going to be all over England visiting 3 or 4 different people for about 7-9 days (nothings final right now). Thennnn! back to Madrid to fly out of here and head back to the states!!!! Where I will spend a week or so between New Jersey, New York & Boston. And thennnn! hahaha I will be flying out to Veronica's graduation in Oregon (woo woo!) and finally, somewhere in the middle/late June, I will settled back into San Diego :) (until August when I go back to Boston hahah). Craaazy! I know you're exhausted from just listening to it all haha, Everything is pretty much a done deal besides my plans between leaving Europe and getting to the graduation - I'm not exactly sure if I'll visit Boston or not, and things like that. So you all have a lot to hear about coming up within the next few months :)
As of right now, I'm doing alright. It's a rollercoaster and like I said above, I really do miss the luxury of the telephone. School is still hard :( My spanish class just moves so quickly because of the amount of material we need to cover so it's been a challenge to keep up. I'm hoping it'll turn out good though. To be honest I really don't feel like my spanish has gotten much better. I just recently started hanging out with my 1st real spanaird friend haha! It really is helpful because it legit forces me to listen attentively and talk in spanish; I need to continue to reach out. I'm still struggling with the language barrier and how greatly it affects the perspective of life I am forced to live in and see. I just really like things straight, I like to see how things REALLY are, not the surface bullshit that consumes so much of our daily lives. And to get to that is almost impossible here. On the optimistic side of that I'm trying to enjoy the basic things in life that don't necessarily require words, because when spanish comes inI swear half the time I don't know if someone is angry or happy or laughing or crying lol. Funny story as an example of what I am talking about: Cris, my hermana here, told me she had a friend coming to spend the weekend here. I'm like cool! I wonder what her name is. Out of her rooms walks a guy. haha I'm like alright alright, i had guy friends too when I was 13... but my parents wouldn't let them spend the weekend living at the house (he slept downstairs) haha. I've been trying to figure out her relationship with my Senora and Senor for awhile now and just can't get it. 13/14 is such an interesting age and I wish I could see her well enough to know what stage she's going through right now. Same goes for the parents, it's their 1st child starting her teenage years, and I wish I could see better how they are reacting to it all. My Senora, Rocio, is really cool and modern. She's young and I feel like if my spanish was better I'd really be able to get close to her. Anyways, so out walks Arturo (the friend) haha. I learned on his last day at the house it was the first time Rocio and Marce had ever met him! So I'm thrown off more now as to how they let their 13 year old duaghter have a 16 year old guy spend the weekend at their house? This whole time I'm wondering if they are really "just friends" because he was a little cutie (no i'm not a creeper lol) and Cris was a little different around him. So after he left and Cris and I were alone for a little while, I throw it out there and ask about him. She nonchalantly is like oh he's my boyfriend, you didn't know? WHAT! lol I'm like uhhhhh no? lol How would I have known that? She's like oh yeah we've been together since July. 7 months!!! Are you serious? hahah I guess Rocio just found out about him like a week before he was coming out to see her (way to pull a Monica-living-with-Francisco and telling Dad a week before we visit hahahahahahah). So I'm sitting here puzzled at how stupid I am for being so out of the loop. I guess while he was here Rocio put up traps around the house so he couldn't get from the basement to Cris's room in the middle of the night!! hahaha I was dying laughing as Cris was telling me all this. She put like 10 chairs all over the stairs, tape on both their doors, bells on the handle, string on the floor. hahah I'm just like, howww is this all happening, at the very same time that I am living in this exact same house?! I have this great image in my head of me peacefully wrapped up in my covers sleeping the night away as Rocio (who I imagine to be dressed in black) plots these traps all over the house lol haha So that was amusing, it gave me a little insight to how hilarious Rocio is hahaha
Cris's birthday is this Wednesday (14!) and she had a fiesta at the house last night. It was a costume party so I was a Potentially Pregnant Professor hahaha (I looked huge. And this family has a sense of humor, so it worked.) surrounded by twenty five 13 and 14 year olds in all these crazy costumes. It was so interesting to observe them all. Like I said above, it was hard to really catch on to what was happening between everyone because people kept leaving and coming and when they said they were going to the park to "hang out" but left with plastic cups and a coke bottle I couldn't decide if they were realllllly innocent enough to really just be drinking the coke or if one of those 13/14 year old boys had a little alcohol in their backpacks. haha, I think they really were just innocently going to the park but I will never be quite sure since I am , obviously, pretty oblivious to a lot of things here lol. I said in one of my earliest blogs my host family here is very musical and bright, so a lot of Cris's friends were from the Conservatorio (the music school she goes to after regular school). It was just interesting because there was always some kind of artistic thing going on. They love taking artsy pictures and singing, they played on the piano a lot, and the guitar too. Happy birthday was sung with violins that busted into this violin concert. They all held hands and danced in circles and in pairs. They would line up and perform for each other. They would sit in circles and take turns singing different songs. They acted out a skit from a play they knew. It was just very different from what I got to experience as a 14 year old and I don't know exactly why - I think it's partly the cultural difference between Spain and the US but even more so the difference in Cris and Me (as 14), and how we were both raised. Music is a huge part of her life so she is bound to surround herself with musical friends too. It was just interesting (I know the word 'interesting' is getting repetitive but that's the only way I can think to really explain it right now), because beyond the activities they had, the way they acted towards eachother was just much different, they are SO affectionate. Also touching eachother faces, and giving eachother kisses, and always embracing and hugging and holding eachother. They were just very warm and affectionate (I've noticed the affectionate thing with the city in general though, PDA is out of controool here haha I've learned to love it). So then I also wonder how this group of friends compares to different groups at their school. Since it's all I see of the youth here in Spain it's all I really know.
Now that I'm half a novel in, I guess I should wrap it up. Know that I am doing well and just trying to take in as much as I can in the best way I know how. Thank yooou for taking the time out of your day to see how life is over here in Spain. I miss you guys like crazy and hope that things are going well. I'd love to hear from you on how YOU are doing so if you ever have time throw me an e-mail, a Facebook Message, whatever works best for you, and let me know what's going on in YOUR life - all of it, from break downs to build ups, the beautiful things and the messy hard things that are still beautiful, I'd love to know how you are. Because don't forget, we're all in this together :)
until next time lover,
besos y abrazos
apb
If you couldn't tell from my month long gap between blogs, I am tired of the internet. It's been hard to rely on the internet as my only way of communication. I do get random phone calls every once in awhile but it's just the concept of not being able to pick up a phone and call anyone I want, even just to say hi. I really shouldn't be complaining though because had this been 100 years ago we would have nothing haha.
Since I've last posted, I've gone on 2 trips to other cities in Spain - Toledo & Sevilla. Both have been through the school and both have been a lot of fun. Toledo was just a day trip but Sevilla was 2 days, so we got to stay in a hotel one night, woo wooo. I have one new picture album up of Sevilla ( http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2015753&id=1042110068&l=1891e) but have so many more pictures that I need to still put up, hopefully soon. I am learning pretty quick with these trips to museums and cathedrals that my love for art is much more modern than I realized haha I'm still trying to appreciate the beauty in it though and take it for what it is. I have enjoyed the architecture in the Cathedrals a lot but to be honest sometimes I think it's just too much haha there is such intense detail into every little thing it's hard to grasp the amount of time people actually put into it. I've been doing some sight seeing in Madrid too and one of my favorites so far has been the Palace. It's craaazy to me how people actually lived in that place at one point in time and went about life like it was normal hahah, both my friends and I were really just amazed with it. I have a lot more trips coming up too! I'm headed to Cadiz this next weekend for Carnaval. It's celebrated all over Spain but Cadiz is said to be the heart of it so I've booked a hotel for 2 nights and a round trip bus with about 20 other people to get a first hand experience of this madness haha. From what I've picked up it's basically the same thing more or less as Mardi Gras but bigger? Either way, the pictures I've seen look out of control and the costumes we've all bought are even more ridiculous, so it's bound to be a crazy/amazing/sunday-will-be-the-death-of-me weekend haha. After that I'm in Madrid for the weekend but then go out to Ireland for 4 days, accidentally the weekend before St. Patricks Day! I'm going alone and staying with a relative (irish blooood holla!) and then hopefully meeting up with friends of friends at night. Either way, I'm not worried, they speak english there so I can get around just find with new friends I'll make. After Ireland I'm back in Madrid for one more weekend and then it's Spring Break!!! Tisean is coming out to visit for the first 5 days of it and then the rest of it is still kind of up in the air (I get 2 weeks!). I'm looking at hopefully Morocco & Portugal. If not Portugal, Barcelona or somewhere else in Spain. After break I get back and only have a month left!!! Can't even believe it. Within the last month I'm going to Segovia & Salamanca. Once the semester's done, the day after my last final I'm meeting Henry (and maybe Poppems!) in Paris! Where we will live the life of french people for 5 days :) haha thennnn I'm going to be all over England visiting 3 or 4 different people for about 7-9 days (nothings final right now). Thennnn! back to Madrid to fly out of here and head back to the states!!!! Where I will spend a week or so between New Jersey, New York & Boston. And thennnn! hahaha I will be flying out to Veronica's graduation in Oregon (woo woo!) and finally, somewhere in the middle/late June, I will settled back into San Diego :) (until August when I go back to Boston hahah). Craaazy! I know you're exhausted from just listening to it all haha, Everything is pretty much a done deal besides my plans between leaving Europe and getting to the graduation - I'm not exactly sure if I'll visit Boston or not, and things like that. So you all have a lot to hear about coming up within the next few months :)
As of right now, I'm doing alright. It's a rollercoaster and like I said above, I really do miss the luxury of the telephone. School is still hard :( My spanish class just moves so quickly because of the amount of material we need to cover so it's been a challenge to keep up. I'm hoping it'll turn out good though. To be honest I really don't feel like my spanish has gotten much better. I just recently started hanging out with my 1st real spanaird friend haha! It really is helpful because it legit forces me to listen attentively and talk in spanish; I need to continue to reach out. I'm still struggling with the language barrier and how greatly it affects the perspective of life I am forced to live in and see. I just really like things straight, I like to see how things REALLY are, not the surface bullshit that consumes so much of our daily lives. And to get to that is almost impossible here. On the optimistic side of that I'm trying to enjoy the basic things in life that don't necessarily require words, because when spanish comes inI swear half the time I don't know if someone is angry or happy or laughing or crying lol. Funny story as an example of what I am talking about: Cris, my hermana here, told me she had a friend coming to spend the weekend here. I'm like cool! I wonder what her name is. Out of her rooms walks a guy. haha I'm like alright alright, i had guy friends too when I was 13... but my parents wouldn't let them spend the weekend living at the house (he slept downstairs) haha. I've been trying to figure out her relationship with my Senora and Senor for awhile now and just can't get it. 13/14 is such an interesting age and I wish I could see her well enough to know what stage she's going through right now. Same goes for the parents, it's their 1st child starting her teenage years, and I wish I could see better how they are reacting to it all. My Senora, Rocio, is really cool and modern. She's young and I feel like if my spanish was better I'd really be able to get close to her. Anyways, so out walks Arturo (the friend) haha. I learned on his last day at the house it was the first time Rocio and Marce had ever met him! So I'm thrown off more now as to how they let their 13 year old duaghter have a 16 year old guy spend the weekend at their house? This whole time I'm wondering if they are really "just friends" because he was a little cutie (no i'm not a creeper lol) and Cris was a little different around him. So after he left and Cris and I were alone for a little while, I throw it out there and ask about him. She nonchalantly is like oh he's my boyfriend, you didn't know? WHAT! lol I'm like uhhhhh no? lol How would I have known that? She's like oh yeah we've been together since July. 7 months!!! Are you serious? hahah I guess Rocio just found out about him like a week before he was coming out to see her (way to pull a Monica-living-with-Francisco and telling Dad a week before we visit hahahahahahah). So I'm sitting here puzzled at how stupid I am for being so out of the loop. I guess while he was here Rocio put up traps around the house so he couldn't get from the basement to Cris's room in the middle of the night!! hahaha I was dying laughing as Cris was telling me all this. She put like 10 chairs all over the stairs, tape on both their doors, bells on the handle, string on the floor. hahah I'm just like, howww is this all happening, at the very same time that I am living in this exact same house?! I have this great image in my head of me peacefully wrapped up in my covers sleeping the night away as Rocio (who I imagine to be dressed in black) plots these traps all over the house lol haha So that was amusing, it gave me a little insight to how hilarious Rocio is hahaha
Cris's birthday is this Wednesday (14!) and she had a fiesta at the house last night. It was a costume party so I was a Potentially Pregnant Professor hahaha (I looked huge. And this family has a sense of humor, so it worked.) surrounded by twenty five 13 and 14 year olds in all these crazy costumes. It was so interesting to observe them all. Like I said above, it was hard to really catch on to what was happening between everyone because people kept leaving and coming and when they said they were going to the park to "hang out" but left with plastic cups and a coke bottle I couldn't decide if they were realllllly innocent enough to really just be drinking the coke or if one of those 13/14 year old boys had a little alcohol in their backpacks. haha, I think they really were just innocently going to the park but I will never be quite sure since I am , obviously, pretty oblivious to a lot of things here lol. I said in one of my earliest blogs my host family here is very musical and bright, so a lot of Cris's friends were from the Conservatorio (the music school she goes to after regular school). It was just interesting because there was always some kind of artistic thing going on. They love taking artsy pictures and singing, they played on the piano a lot, and the guitar too. Happy birthday was sung with violins that busted into this violin concert. They all held hands and danced in circles and in pairs. They would line up and perform for each other. They would sit in circles and take turns singing different songs. They acted out a skit from a play they knew. It was just very different from what I got to experience as a 14 year old and I don't know exactly why - I think it's partly the cultural difference between Spain and the US but even more so the difference in Cris and Me (as 14), and how we were both raised. Music is a huge part of her life so she is bound to surround herself with musical friends too. It was just interesting (I know the word 'interesting' is getting repetitive but that's the only way I can think to really explain it right now), because beyond the activities they had, the way they acted towards eachother was just much different, they are SO affectionate. Also touching eachother faces, and giving eachother kisses, and always embracing and hugging and holding eachother. They were just very warm and affectionate (I've noticed the affectionate thing with the city in general though, PDA is out of controool here haha I've learned to love it). So then I also wonder how this group of friends compares to different groups at their school. Since it's all I see of the youth here in Spain it's all I really know.
Now that I'm half a novel in, I guess I should wrap it up. Know that I am doing well and just trying to take in as much as I can in the best way I know how. Thank yooou for taking the time out of your day to see how life is over here in Spain. I miss you guys like crazy and hope that things are going well. I'd love to hear from you on how YOU are doing so if you ever have time throw me an e-mail, a Facebook Message, whatever works best for you, and let me know what's going on in YOUR life - all of it, from break downs to build ups, the beautiful things and the messy hard things that are still beautiful, I'd love to know how you are. Because don't forget, we're all in this together :)
until next time lover,
besos y abrazos
apb
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
a bacon cheeseburger from Chilis
:) hellooooo!
ahh, how is it that I feel I have been here forever and yet it's been only 2 weeks? In a way I feel like I should be packing up now and saying, "that was fun see ya later!" haha and then I realize I have over 3 more months here! Exciting and scary all at the same time, as usual. But...
"If you risk nothing, you risk everything." :)
Before I forget: for those of you who don't have a facebook and would like to see some pictures, here is a link to some pictures I've taken of the city and my home here :)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2013730&l=1cc85&id=1042110068
Also, I am officially making the titles of my blogs the name of the food that I am most currently craving from the US. :) hahah
Thank you to alllll of you for the birthday wishes I know you were all sending. My birthday was a lot of funnn. In the evening I had a really nice dinner with my family at the house and was allowed to have Sam come over (Sam is one of my best friends at BU and is the only person I knew coming on this trip). Being a family of musicians, they played me "Happy Birthday" on the violin and guitar and Rocio (mi senora) brought out a cake she made :) It was so sweet of all of them. They put those trickster candles on it so I spent a good 5 minutes blowing them out haha Guille was crying because he wanted it to be his birthday and when I asked him if he wanted to help me blow out the candles he ran up the stairs screaming and crying. haha, true bonding right there. It's okay though, he got a hair cut yesterday and I called him guapo (handsome) so now I think I'm back on his good side. jajaja. But yes, the dinner was so sweet of them, they hung little birthday decorations and even got me a few pieces of jewelry as a gift. Yet again, another birthday full of such fortune and blessings. I am constantly reminded how lucky I am when my birthday comes around, I can feel so much love from everyone (even those of you 6000 miles away on the west coast!). Truly blessed.
So not only was this my birthday weekend it was also all of ours first reaaal weekend here (and my 1st 3 day weekend ever!). So I went out with friends on Thursday, pretty low key, to a nice bar and just chatted until they kicked us out around 2:30am. Friday was a bit more crazy :) I lived the life of a true spanaird haha Basically I took a nap from 11pm-12am and met up with friends at 1am only to stay out until 6am :) I only paid for one drink the entire weekend! haha yesss i love birthdays! haha. It was really fun. I stayed in on Saturday considering how my body was slightly confused as to what the hell i was doing to it. I felt kinda bad though on Saturday the family had over 2 other familes for this huge breakfast and I slept through the whole thing.. haha that's kinda where the gray area comes in as to what I feel is right and wrong. When they tell me about things I don't know if they are telling me as in I have to be there or as a heads up or as an invitation? Meh, hopefully soon I'll understand that a little better.
The days during the weekend were fun too. I visited the Museo de Prado! Craaazy. I also went to a Symphony Orchestra with a few friends on Friday night before we all went out. It was interesting, because I realized I think for the first time, significantly, how universal music can be. I was sitting in this huge place with hundreds of other people and it didn't matter who spoke english or spanish or whatever, it was silent and we could all here the same thing. I don't know, I also had a slightly profound moment when I visited la iglesia de los jeronomes after the Prado. It is this amazing church, I can't even explain how magnificent it is. But I went and sat in the front to pray, for literally, each and every one of you. After, as I was looking/admiring the "decorations", I realized how still everything in the church is. I'm not sure if this is even coming across right, when I tried to explain it to the people I went with they joked around how I was basically crazy haha It was just this intense contrast in motion, how busy life is, how much happens, and during all of it, those figures and "decorations" remain completely constant. Across miles and miles so much takes place, and yet these objects remain completely untouched. I wonder if I am noticing such things because of the huge upheavel my life has seem to undergo in these last 2 weeks. I just don't think I've ever had to take in so much in such a short amount of time and things like motion and the contrast between movement and stillness is something that is obvious to me right now, seeing that I am slightly stuck between both worlds, internally and externally.
Classes are hard. I lovee the staff that works here though. Through out my time at BU I've grown a slight resentment towards lack of connection with the faculty and being basically a number. The office staff here is small and very close, and knows every single one of our names. I had never talked to the director before and when I asked him a question on the 2nd day he knew my name haha, just the energy in the office when you walk in is so great. There is a very obvious vibe that they are all there for us, to help us have an amazing experience and learn. So I've really liked that. Also, the Institute I'm at holds numerous colleges so it's been nice to meet people in different programs from different colleges around the US. Unfortunatly, my number of spanaird friends / legit spanish speaking people are few, so I need to work on that. It's obviously still really early and understandable that the majority of ppl I go out with on the weekend are english speaking, I just really need to start putting myself out there and force myself into those uncomfortable situations where I basically don't know what anyone is saying hahah
I feel I have gotten more quiet as the days go. I think it's starting to sink in more that this is a sink or swim situation and there's kind of no way around feeling so out of place at times. I mentioned I felt my spanish was already getting better after the first few days and now I feel it's worse than before haha I just am very tired of constantly interrupting people and asking, "Que? Que?" And even when they explain it I usually don't get it and just am frankly too embarrassed to ask a hundredth time. I knooow you are all thinking they don't care, which I know the majority of the time they don't, it's still just hard. I also realize once I ask them to repeat it and they write it down, I realize I already knew the word, it was just the way they were saying it that made me not able to understand. So it's a combination of the accent, the pace of speaking, and the language itself. But step by step!
I am really enjoying the meals here. I am eating so healthy. Today for lunch I ate swordfish with some kind of tomatoe rice soup. I've had more fish in these last 2 weeks than I have in my entire life haha. I not only enjoy having actual meals that are soso healthy, I also enjoy having it being made for me :) haha it's almost easier when I don't have to decide what to eat. I never know what I'm about to eat until I sit down and they put it infront of me. The parents always serve everyone at the table, at first it was weird but now I'm getting use to it. Dinner is always the best time with my family because we are all together and relaxed. I come home for lunch too alot but it's never the whole family there. I had one really great dinner last week with the family that made me very happy. Just lots of laughing and communication.
It's already been too long since I've seen all of your beautiful faces and I cannot wait until the time comes when I get to give each and every one of you a hug :)
Besos y Abrazos,
apb
ahh, how is it that I feel I have been here forever and yet it's been only 2 weeks? In a way I feel like I should be packing up now and saying, "that was fun see ya later!" haha and then I realize I have over 3 more months here! Exciting and scary all at the same time, as usual. But...
"If you risk nothing, you risk everything." :)
Before I forget: for those of you who don't have a facebook and would like to see some pictures, here is a link to some pictures I've taken of the city and my home here :)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2013730&l=1cc85&id=1042110068
Also, I am officially making the titles of my blogs the name of the food that I am most currently craving from the US. :) hahah
Thank you to alllll of you for the birthday wishes I know you were all sending. My birthday was a lot of funnn. In the evening I had a really nice dinner with my family at the house and was allowed to have Sam come over (Sam is one of my best friends at BU and is the only person I knew coming on this trip). Being a family of musicians, they played me "Happy Birthday" on the violin and guitar and Rocio (mi senora) brought out a cake she made :) It was so sweet of all of them. They put those trickster candles on it so I spent a good 5 minutes blowing them out haha Guille was crying because he wanted it to be his birthday and when I asked him if he wanted to help me blow out the candles he ran up the stairs screaming and crying. haha, true bonding right there. It's okay though, he got a hair cut yesterday and I called him guapo (handsome) so now I think I'm back on his good side. jajaja. But yes, the dinner was so sweet of them, they hung little birthday decorations and even got me a few pieces of jewelry as a gift. Yet again, another birthday full of such fortune and blessings. I am constantly reminded how lucky I am when my birthday comes around, I can feel so much love from everyone (even those of you 6000 miles away on the west coast!). Truly blessed.
So not only was this my birthday weekend it was also all of ours first reaaal weekend here (and my 1st 3 day weekend ever!). So I went out with friends on Thursday, pretty low key, to a nice bar and just chatted until they kicked us out around 2:30am. Friday was a bit more crazy :) I lived the life of a true spanaird haha Basically I took a nap from 11pm-12am and met up with friends at 1am only to stay out until 6am :) I only paid for one drink the entire weekend! haha yesss i love birthdays! haha. It was really fun. I stayed in on Saturday considering how my body was slightly confused as to what the hell i was doing to it. I felt kinda bad though on Saturday the family had over 2 other familes for this huge breakfast and I slept through the whole thing.. haha that's kinda where the gray area comes in as to what I feel is right and wrong. When they tell me about things I don't know if they are telling me as in I have to be there or as a heads up or as an invitation? Meh, hopefully soon I'll understand that a little better.
The days during the weekend were fun too. I visited the Museo de Prado! Craaazy. I also went to a Symphony Orchestra with a few friends on Friday night before we all went out. It was interesting, because I realized I think for the first time, significantly, how universal music can be. I was sitting in this huge place with hundreds of other people and it didn't matter who spoke english or spanish or whatever, it was silent and we could all here the same thing. I don't know, I also had a slightly profound moment when I visited la iglesia de los jeronomes after the Prado. It is this amazing church, I can't even explain how magnificent it is. But I went and sat in the front to pray, for literally, each and every one of you. After, as I was looking/admiring the "decorations", I realized how still everything in the church is. I'm not sure if this is even coming across right, when I tried to explain it to the people I went with they joked around how I was basically crazy haha It was just this intense contrast in motion, how busy life is, how much happens, and during all of it, those figures and "decorations" remain completely constant. Across miles and miles so much takes place, and yet these objects remain completely untouched. I wonder if I am noticing such things because of the huge upheavel my life has seem to undergo in these last 2 weeks. I just don't think I've ever had to take in so much in such a short amount of time and things like motion and the contrast between movement and stillness is something that is obvious to me right now, seeing that I am slightly stuck between both worlds, internally and externally.
Classes are hard. I lovee the staff that works here though. Through out my time at BU I've grown a slight resentment towards lack of connection with the faculty and being basically a number. The office staff here is small and very close, and knows every single one of our names. I had never talked to the director before and when I asked him a question on the 2nd day he knew my name haha, just the energy in the office when you walk in is so great. There is a very obvious vibe that they are all there for us, to help us have an amazing experience and learn. So I've really liked that. Also, the Institute I'm at holds numerous colleges so it's been nice to meet people in different programs from different colleges around the US. Unfortunatly, my number of spanaird friends / legit spanish speaking people are few, so I need to work on that. It's obviously still really early and understandable that the majority of ppl I go out with on the weekend are english speaking, I just really need to start putting myself out there and force myself into those uncomfortable situations where I basically don't know what anyone is saying hahah
I feel I have gotten more quiet as the days go. I think it's starting to sink in more that this is a sink or swim situation and there's kind of no way around feeling so out of place at times. I mentioned I felt my spanish was already getting better after the first few days and now I feel it's worse than before haha I just am very tired of constantly interrupting people and asking, "Que? Que?" And even when they explain it I usually don't get it and just am frankly too embarrassed to ask a hundredth time. I knooow you are all thinking they don't care, which I know the majority of the time they don't, it's still just hard. I also realize once I ask them to repeat it and they write it down, I realize I already knew the word, it was just the way they were saying it that made me not able to understand. So it's a combination of the accent, the pace of speaking, and the language itself. But step by step!
I am really enjoying the meals here. I am eating so healthy. Today for lunch I ate swordfish with some kind of tomatoe rice soup. I've had more fish in these last 2 weeks than I have in my entire life haha. I not only enjoy having actual meals that are soso healthy, I also enjoy having it being made for me :) haha it's almost easier when I don't have to decide what to eat. I never know what I'm about to eat until I sit down and they put it infront of me. The parents always serve everyone at the table, at first it was weird but now I'm getting use to it. Dinner is always the best time with my family because we are all together and relaxed. I come home for lunch too alot but it's never the whole family there. I had one really great dinner last week with the family that made me very happy. Just lots of laughing and communication.
It's already been too long since I've seen all of your beautiful faces and I cannot wait until the time comes when I get to give each and every one of you a hug :)
Besos y Abrazos,
apb
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Estoy Aqui!
Hola Mis Amores,
Ha I almost started typing this in Spanish. I am so sorry for having taken so long to write, as you can imagine it's been a chaotic last few days and today was my 1st real run through day. Forewarning, this is going to be a liiiiitle lengthy... :) From the begining!
But first my number!
Soo if you do call, you have to get a calling card (duh) and then you will push in:
011-34-678158774 :)
011 is for the international call, 34 is for Espana, and the rest is my number here.
Okay so now from the begining!
Flying in and starting Thursday off with no sleep was really odd. Wednesday and Thursday combined into one day, as my flight was an overnight one that I didn't sleep a minute of. We were all thrilled/exhausted but that didn't keep 20 or so of us in! Ha I went out that Thursday night with 20 or so other people to a bar in Santanas Plaza. Very fun! It was awesome, there were taps in the middle of the table and we could serve ourselves in huge mugs. There was a TV screen keeping track of how many liters of beer we were drinking and that's how we paid at the end. I had such a fun time that night... that I paid for the next morning, a lot. Ha Friday was orientation and let's just say I spent a good quarter of it in the bathroom... Hahaha It was actually hilarious for me as that's not usually my way of entering a new chapter of my life, but hey, it happens no? haha Orientation, naturally, was painful because of my physical state of being but informative and good. Didn't go out that night, which was sad because I really don't know a single person who didn't go out. I had barely made it through the day and wasn't trying to move in with my new family smelling/looking like a bar. hahah The 2 days in the hotel were pretty overwhelming just with the mass amount of students I was surrounded by. It felt like being back in 1st week of Freshmen year when no one knows anyone and everyone is overly excited and equally as nervous and wants friends. haha so that was, to be honest, exhausting, especially in my already overloaded emotional/physical/mental body, so I was ready to move in with the family on Saturday.
So Saturday! Rough. Hahaha Aamzing! but rough. I pulled up to the house around 11am and was downstairs with the family for literally 9 and half hours until 8:30pm when I went out to meet up with friends for dinner. Ah! My brain was mush. Legit. I had to listen and focus so intensely on EVERY singleeeeee word they were saying. Even during finals and exams or whatever you do in life, you can take a break! Yeaaah going to the bathroom was my break. Rough on the brain. I was going to write on here that night but I literally didn't think I had the mental capacity to do so in a way you would all understand haha. Going to bed was kinda hard that night, just completely overwhelmed. Sunday was much better but I'll talk about that after I detour into a little detail about my family!
:) Let's just say I did something good in my past life because my house/room is LEGIIIT. It is a modern, beautiful 4 story house, in which I have the 4th floor alllll to myself :) I don't think I'll have this much space/this kind of room again in my life so I'm enjoying it. In it: a huge couch, a desk, 2 closet things, my bed, a side desk, a bathroom(!), and seriously enough floor space to have a dance party. Haha It's orange and white, and since it's the 4th floor my ceilings are slanted. I have 3 sky lights, 2 in my room and one in the bathroom. The lighting is really nice, those cool light fixtures you see in Ikea or Starbucks. It's the iiiish. Oh, and my bed is comfy! Definitely a plus haha. The walls are thin though so I hear everything and it wakes me up early in the morning. The house is gorgeous! Modern. Yellow, orange and white walls with lots of art and decoration. Beautiful hardwood floors and stairs. Both parents, my senora Rocio y her husband Marce (said Marthe with the spanish accent haha), are both musicians and teach the violin at a university here. Both my 13 year old sister Cris (short for Cristina) and my 5 year old brother Guille (pronounced gee-a, short for William) both play as well. It's pretty intense. The daughter just had a concert the other night playing the violin, she is very good. They pratice downstairs in this open and beautiful room with an entire wall full of books (It sounds much like a house I would have of my own in the states no? with art and books and colors). Guille is learning the piano and chello. Haha i think the parents play all 3. The daughter seems busy, she goes to an english speaking HS until 2pm and then over to her parents univeristy for lessons. BusyBusy. Guille loves socccer and TV haha, when I got here he was out playing at a game. It's cute we play in the house sometimes before dinner and I juke him out (since I'm so good and everything). When he scores a goal he screams "GOOOOAL" like the announcers do in profession spanish soccer games (makes me think of you dad! haha). It's cute. :) Cris is really sweet. She showed me around the area when I 1st got here and took me grocery shopping to pick out foods I liked. It's interesting though because 13/14 is such an interesting/hard age and I wish I knew better how to feel out where she is in all that teenage stuff. That kind of goes for the whole family though. The language barrier is hard in really feeling, understanding, and obviously communicating with each person as individuals so I feel its a very surface relationship that I hope will eventually deepen with time and with my increased fluency. I'm having a hard time splitting my time because I was one of the only few who got an actual family, many of the other students only got Senoras, and because of this a lot of ppl don't go home for lunch after school or worry much about being home. You all know how loyal of a person I am and sometimes I think it is too much. For example, putting the family before myself? I obviously want to strengthen my relationship with the family and be able to be a part of it so I'm really torn on how to be independent here and not let them hold me back on doing things outside of the house with friends, but also at the same time getting to a point beyond being just a guest in their house that they are housing for 4 months. So... we'll see I guess?
A little more about my first day: the family is very bright. We played four different games that afternoon and all of them were thought-provoking games, such as Scrabble in spanish (words I participated with: salsa & bajo. what whaaaaaat! haha). They had a family friend come over both on Saturday and Sunday, a couple - Richard & Carmen - with their 2 little boys Pablo, 5 (Guille's friend) and Simon, 3. Just to let you all know, Simon has officially stolen my heart. haha he's so adorable. So the 1st day not only was it my new family but this whole other family with kids screaming/crying/laughing (I dreamt that night of kids running up and down stairs screaming spanish words I didn't understand haha). It's definitely a different environment since I've always been the youngest. It's interesting to see Cris & Guille interact. She isnt too mean to him yet which makes me believe she isn't that far into her teenage stages lol. The family couple seems bright as well, with conversations of the Spanish Civil War and past US Presidents. Big stuff I wish I could have participated in adequately. (haha as I type right now Cris is practing the Violin in her room. There is always classical music playing in the kitchen during breakfast, the newspaper is always out). You would all be so proud! I have eaten everything they have made me! None of it was forced either! I mean some were better than others but I've been proud of myself! haha So healthy. Alwwwaaaays vegetables and protein. And then maybe a little bit of carbs but legit a healthy diet. Good stuff. Minus the fact lunch is so small I starve until our 9:30pm dinner but I think I'm going to buy some snacks and keep them in my room jajaja).
I started class on Mondaaay. Tough. I have a practica class from 10am-1130, and then a gramatica from 1130-1. So 3 straight hours of spanish class a day plus an additional Spanish Civilization history class from 530-7 on Mondays & Wednesdays. The practica part of my spanish classes seem easy - basically just need to entertain the guy by laughing at his jokes and participating in conversation. We haven't had to write a single thing, the entire class is based around conversation. Gramatica seems haaard though. The teacher seems like she will be really good but hard. I didn't understand any of the homework we had last night and that freaked me out a bit but hopefully I'll pick it up quick. The history class is nice. I love history but just have a hard time retaining all the information. I think history and current events are such a big part of conversations we have with eachother and that it's important to be educated on it, and I often wish I was more educated in that arena, so this will good. The 1st 6 weeks are taught in English, but after that it will be taught entirely in spanish including a final exam in spanish, eeek. That'll be hard. I have 3 books to read but luckily only 1 is in spanish. It was funny, school was the last thing on my mind here, obviously. And then when I now have +100 pages to read by tomorrow (some in spanish), and 4 spanish exercises to do, I'm realizing quite quickly, "Oh yeeeah, I'm in college." ha.
Spain is beautiful. It is so different! And in a way I, unfortunately, can't quite really explain. There are little things though: the streets and subway systems - spotless. So weird! No trash aaaaaanywhere it's crazy! So So clean. People are rarely on their phones, no one is ever running to catch the Metro, people barrrely honk. The taxi driver who took me to my house was going SLOW ha, can you believe it? It was like he was going for his afternoon cruise or something I was shocked! I've heard repeatedly, here and in the states, that Spain's mentality is Life Before Work. I see that in small ways, but nothing huge yet. Today I was actually disappointed after a conversation with a girl I just met. She was saying how back in the states she's like crazy-stressed-OCD girl and here she's soo much better and she was like, "Oh I love who I am here!" haha I was like, "Oh." lol Caaan you take some of my stress then? haha I know it's so early and we all have our different way of adjusting. One of my main goals here though was to find a balance and let myself relax. I really want to be able to bring that back to the states with me. Hopefully it will happen :) To be honest I'm trying to not have any expectations for my experience here. Yes I hope to become fluent and relaxed and this more cultured and wised woman of Spain haha, but if I'm not then what? Ha. I just want to take my experience here for what it is in this moment. I am doing what I can, literally reminding myself, one thing at a time.
I watched the Inauguration today at a International Hotel. Amazing.
It is late and I have muuch to do, plus I'm sure this has been enough for now :)
I love and miss each and every one of you,
apb
Ha I almost started typing this in Spanish. I am so sorry for having taken so long to write, as you can imagine it's been a chaotic last few days and today was my 1st real run through day. Forewarning, this is going to be a liiiiitle lengthy... :) From the begining!
But first my number!
Soo if you do call, you have to get a calling card (duh) and then you will push in:
011-34-678158774 :)
011 is for the international call, 34 is for Espana, and the rest is my number here.
Okay so now from the begining!
Flying in and starting Thursday off with no sleep was really odd. Wednesday and Thursday combined into one day, as my flight was an overnight one that I didn't sleep a minute of. We were all thrilled/exhausted but that didn't keep 20 or so of us in! Ha I went out that Thursday night with 20 or so other people to a bar in Santanas Plaza. Very fun! It was awesome, there were taps in the middle of the table and we could serve ourselves in huge mugs. There was a TV screen keeping track of how many liters of beer we were drinking and that's how we paid at the end. I had such a fun time that night... that I paid for the next morning, a lot. Ha Friday was orientation and let's just say I spent a good quarter of it in the bathroom... Hahaha It was actually hilarious for me as that's not usually my way of entering a new chapter of my life, but hey, it happens no? haha Orientation, naturally, was painful because of my physical state of being but informative and good. Didn't go out that night, which was sad because I really don't know a single person who didn't go out. I had barely made it through the day and wasn't trying to move in with my new family smelling/looking like a bar. hahah The 2 days in the hotel were pretty overwhelming just with the mass amount of students I was surrounded by. It felt like being back in 1st week of Freshmen year when no one knows anyone and everyone is overly excited and equally as nervous and wants friends. haha so that was, to be honest, exhausting, especially in my already overloaded emotional/physical/mental body, so I was ready to move in with the family on Saturday.
So Saturday! Rough. Hahaha Aamzing! but rough. I pulled up to the house around 11am and was downstairs with the family for literally 9 and half hours until 8:30pm when I went out to meet up with friends for dinner. Ah! My brain was mush. Legit. I had to listen and focus so intensely on EVERY singleeeeee word they were saying. Even during finals and exams or whatever you do in life, you can take a break! Yeaaah going to the bathroom was my break. Rough on the brain. I was going to write on here that night but I literally didn't think I had the mental capacity to do so in a way you would all understand haha. Going to bed was kinda hard that night, just completely overwhelmed. Sunday was much better but I'll talk about that after I detour into a little detail about my family!
:) Let's just say I did something good in my past life because my house/room is LEGIIIT. It is a modern, beautiful 4 story house, in which I have the 4th floor alllll to myself :) I don't think I'll have this much space/this kind of room again in my life so I'm enjoying it. In it: a huge couch, a desk, 2 closet things, my bed, a side desk, a bathroom(!), and seriously enough floor space to have a dance party. Haha It's orange and white, and since it's the 4th floor my ceilings are slanted. I have 3 sky lights, 2 in my room and one in the bathroom. The lighting is really nice, those cool light fixtures you see in Ikea or Starbucks. It's the iiiish. Oh, and my bed is comfy! Definitely a plus haha. The walls are thin though so I hear everything and it wakes me up early in the morning. The house is gorgeous! Modern. Yellow, orange and white walls with lots of art and decoration. Beautiful hardwood floors and stairs. Both parents, my senora Rocio y her husband Marce (said Marthe with the spanish accent haha), are both musicians and teach the violin at a university here. Both my 13 year old sister Cris (short for Cristina) and my 5 year old brother Guille (pronounced gee-a, short for William) both play as well. It's pretty intense. The daughter just had a concert the other night playing the violin, she is very good. They pratice downstairs in this open and beautiful room with an entire wall full of books (It sounds much like a house I would have of my own in the states no? with art and books and colors). Guille is learning the piano and chello. Haha i think the parents play all 3. The daughter seems busy, she goes to an english speaking HS until 2pm and then over to her parents univeristy for lessons. BusyBusy. Guille loves socccer and TV haha, when I got here he was out playing at a game. It's cute we play in the house sometimes before dinner and I juke him out (since I'm so good and everything). When he scores a goal he screams "GOOOOAL" like the announcers do in profession spanish soccer games (makes me think of you dad! haha). It's cute. :) Cris is really sweet. She showed me around the area when I 1st got here and took me grocery shopping to pick out foods I liked. It's interesting though because 13/14 is such an interesting/hard age and I wish I knew better how to feel out where she is in all that teenage stuff. That kind of goes for the whole family though. The language barrier is hard in really feeling, understanding, and obviously communicating with each person as individuals so I feel its a very surface relationship that I hope will eventually deepen with time and with my increased fluency. I'm having a hard time splitting my time because I was one of the only few who got an actual family, many of the other students only got Senoras, and because of this a lot of ppl don't go home for lunch after school or worry much about being home. You all know how loyal of a person I am and sometimes I think it is too much. For example, putting the family before myself? I obviously want to strengthen my relationship with the family and be able to be a part of it so I'm really torn on how to be independent here and not let them hold me back on doing things outside of the house with friends, but also at the same time getting to a point beyond being just a guest in their house that they are housing for 4 months. So... we'll see I guess?
A little more about my first day: the family is very bright. We played four different games that afternoon and all of them were thought-provoking games, such as Scrabble in spanish (words I participated with: salsa & bajo. what whaaaaaat! haha). They had a family friend come over both on Saturday and Sunday, a couple - Richard & Carmen - with their 2 little boys Pablo, 5 (Guille's friend) and Simon, 3. Just to let you all know, Simon has officially stolen my heart. haha he's so adorable. So the 1st day not only was it my new family but this whole other family with kids screaming/crying/laughing (I dreamt that night of kids running up and down stairs screaming spanish words I didn't understand haha). It's definitely a different environment since I've always been the youngest. It's interesting to see Cris & Guille interact. She isnt too mean to him yet which makes me believe she isn't that far into her teenage stages lol. The family couple seems bright as well, with conversations of the Spanish Civil War and past US Presidents. Big stuff I wish I could have participated in adequately. (haha as I type right now Cris is practing the Violin in her room. There is always classical music playing in the kitchen during breakfast, the newspaper is always out). You would all be so proud! I have eaten everything they have made me! None of it was forced either! I mean some were better than others but I've been proud of myself! haha So healthy. Alwwwaaaays vegetables and protein. And then maybe a little bit of carbs but legit a healthy diet. Good stuff. Minus the fact lunch is so small I starve until our 9:30pm dinner but I think I'm going to buy some snacks and keep them in my room jajaja).
I started class on Mondaaay. Tough. I have a practica class from 10am-1130, and then a gramatica from 1130-1. So 3 straight hours of spanish class a day plus an additional Spanish Civilization history class from 530-7 on Mondays & Wednesdays. The practica part of my spanish classes seem easy - basically just need to entertain the guy by laughing at his jokes and participating in conversation. We haven't had to write a single thing, the entire class is based around conversation. Gramatica seems haaard though. The teacher seems like she will be really good but hard. I didn't understand any of the homework we had last night and that freaked me out a bit but hopefully I'll pick it up quick. The history class is nice. I love history but just have a hard time retaining all the information. I think history and current events are such a big part of conversations we have with eachother and that it's important to be educated on it, and I often wish I was more educated in that arena, so this will good. The 1st 6 weeks are taught in English, but after that it will be taught entirely in spanish including a final exam in spanish, eeek. That'll be hard. I have 3 books to read but luckily only 1 is in spanish. It was funny, school was the last thing on my mind here, obviously. And then when I now have +100 pages to read by tomorrow (some in spanish), and 4 spanish exercises to do, I'm realizing quite quickly, "Oh yeeeah, I'm in college." ha.
Spain is beautiful. It is so different! And in a way I, unfortunately, can't quite really explain. There are little things though: the streets and subway systems - spotless. So weird! No trash aaaaaanywhere it's crazy! So So clean. People are rarely on their phones, no one is ever running to catch the Metro, people barrrely honk. The taxi driver who took me to my house was going SLOW ha, can you believe it? It was like he was going for his afternoon cruise or something I was shocked! I've heard repeatedly, here and in the states, that Spain's mentality is Life Before Work. I see that in small ways, but nothing huge yet. Today I was actually disappointed after a conversation with a girl I just met. She was saying how back in the states she's like crazy-stressed-OCD girl and here she's soo much better and she was like, "Oh I love who I am here!" haha I was like, "Oh." lol Caaan you take some of my stress then? haha I know it's so early and we all have our different way of adjusting. One of my main goals here though was to find a balance and let myself relax. I really want to be able to bring that back to the states with me. Hopefully it will happen :) To be honest I'm trying to not have any expectations for my experience here. Yes I hope to become fluent and relaxed and this more cultured and wised woman of Spain haha, but if I'm not then what? Ha. I just want to take my experience here for what it is in this moment. I am doing what I can, literally reminding myself, one thing at a time.
I watched the Inauguration today at a International Hotel. Amazing.
It is late and I have muuch to do, plus I'm sure this has been enough for now :)
I love and miss each and every one of you,
apb
Friday, January 9, 2009
5 Days til Take Offffffff!
my dearest friends and family,
I know I have different relationships with all of you and that many conversations will take place outside of this blog, but I thought this would be good for general stuff that can be easily shared with everybody :)
SO! for a general overview of what's happening! I'm in the Level 1B program which is the lowest program possible haha yes! There is Level 1B, 1C, 1D, Level 2 and Level 3. Altogether there are about 80 of us. I'm flying out of New York the 14th with a group flight and arrive in Madrid on the 15th followed by a 3 day orientation that will consist of getting cell phones, books, euros, info about our classes/home stays/ the city!
I move in with my host family on Sat. the 17th (or Sun. the 18th, i dont remember) which is exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. The only information I have about the family is I am living with a woman named Rocio Gomez, her husband, her two children (13 & 5), and their two bunnies! haha I don't know any names or the sex of the kids but it will be fun having little brothers/sisters and bunny rabbitsss!! haha.
I start classes on Monday the 19th at the Instituto Internacional. I'm only taking 3 classes and they are all based around Language - a Gramatica class, a Practica class, and a Spanish Civilization class. I am luckylucky because although I only have 3 classes I still get 16 credits AND 3 day weekends. woo woooooo! In my level there are only 2 other ppl so I have a pretty amazing opportunity to have a one-on-one relationship with my professor and therefore hopefully become really proficient in the language (can't skip any class though... jajaja just kiddding I would never.... :)
I'll put my home address below in case you feel ilke sending me some lovin (coughcoughhinthint) hahah just kiddddinggg! it's actually not recommended that any packages or mail get sent out because of it getting "lost", but if you feel like good karma is on your side, go for it. I'll let you all know my international cell phone number when I get it.
Until then, so much love xoxo
apb
Calle de Iquitos, 5
28027, Madrid, Spain
I know I have different relationships with all of you and that many conversations will take place outside of this blog, but I thought this would be good for general stuff that can be easily shared with everybody :)
SO! for a general overview of what's happening! I'm in the Level 1B program which is the lowest program possible haha yes! There is Level 1B, 1C, 1D, Level 2 and Level 3. Altogether there are about 80 of us. I'm flying out of New York the 14th with a group flight and arrive in Madrid on the 15th followed by a 3 day orientation that will consist of getting cell phones, books, euros, info about our classes/home stays/ the city!
I move in with my host family on Sat. the 17th (or Sun. the 18th, i dont remember) which is exciting and nerve-racking at the same time. The only information I have about the family is I am living with a woman named Rocio Gomez, her husband, her two children (13 & 5), and their two bunnies! haha I don't know any names or the sex of the kids but it will be fun having little brothers/sisters and bunny rabbitsss!! haha.
I start classes on Monday the 19th at the Instituto Internacional. I'm only taking 3 classes and they are all based around Language - a Gramatica class, a Practica class, and a Spanish Civilization class. I am luckylucky because although I only have 3 classes I still get 16 credits AND 3 day weekends. woo woooooo! In my level there are only 2 other ppl so I have a pretty amazing opportunity to have a one-on-one relationship with my professor and therefore hopefully become really proficient in the language (can't skip any class though... jajaja just kiddding I would never.... :)
I'll put my home address below in case you feel ilke sending me some lovin (coughcoughhinthint) hahah just kiddddinggg! it's actually not recommended that any packages or mail get sent out because of it getting "lost", but if you feel like good karma is on your side, go for it. I'll let you all know my international cell phone number when I get it.
Until then, so much love xoxo
apb
Calle de Iquitos, 5
28027, Madrid, Spain
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
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